Inspired by a good friend, I thought this might be fun to compile today. Like Steve, I’m not a shy or secretive guy, so much of this might be old news. Also, I am in the habit of telling the same stories over and over and over again, so some of this might be downright boring. Narcissism: ON!

(I slightly updated my Mount Rushmore of movies)

• Despite being a music junky, I am completely tone-deaf and can play no instruments. I have, however, been in at least 6 imaginary bands.

• Despite being utterly tone-deaf, I like singing in Church (though would never inflict my voice on a crowd in a choir). I know the words to almost every song in the hymn book. It makes my kids smile, but I’m not sure if it’s because they like seeing their dad sing or because I sound so terrible.

• My musical guilty pleasures include Justin Timberlake, Metro Station, and extremely heavy metal (Mastodon, Boris, sunn O)))), and His Hero is Gone). I also know every word on Dr. Dre’s Chronic 2001 and can sing any song on the album from memory. I only know the uncensored version, but censor myself while singing along.

• I can play two songs with one hand on the piano. This is the extent of my piano playing abilities.

• I have an obsessive desire to spell and punctuate correctly, even while chatting. It can slow down my response time. I will read and reread my emails many times before sending them, even if it’s a quick note to a friend. I have already retyped and corrected this article several times.

• The above problem is why I don’t keep a proper journal. I can’t edit while writing in a book, so I find journal writing extremely frustrating.

• I never learned to type correctly, so I only use my thumbs, index, and middle fingers. However, I can type without looking at the keyboard and last time I tried, I clocked in at 65 WPM.

• I was a terrible, terrible student in high school. My counselor called me a “classic under-achiever” and I barely graduated.

• I can fall asleep anywhere, in any position, regardless of ambient noise or distractions. It’s a super power.

• I developed a theory about the fundamental nature of the universe a few years ago. If true, it would drastically change the way we think about quantum mechanics and the basic laws of Physics. I met with the head of the Physics Department at Gonzaga University to see if my idea held any water (since I don’t know the higher math involved). He said it does and was excited by the whole thing.

• Other than my wife, my sister is easily my best friend ever. She is also the funniest person I know. Instant messaging is almost entirely responsible for our continued friendship. We talk almost every single day. When she’s on vacation or sick, my days are longer.

• As a missionary, I trained my second companion, three months after arriving in North Carolina. I trained my next 6 companions. Other than a four week stint with Elder McClemore (details another day), the last six weeks of my mission were the only other time I served with a missionary who I was not also training.

• Carol’s brother Todd remains the most impressive person I have ever known.

• I have a large mole on the right side my stomach. It’s larger than a pea, but smaller than a dime. It made me terribly self conscious as a kid, so I never took off my shirt, even at pool parties.As an adult (even though I am now totally at ease with my mole), I still have a tough time going shirtless in public.

• I hate coding websites. If I never write code for another site (other than Feb28, of course), I’ll consider it a huge success.

• I am convinced that gig posters are the last true form of graphic design.

• I hate that my favorite animal is the dragon.

• Though I’ve wanted several, I managed to escape my youth with no tattoos. I did pierce my ears 22 times, which included 0-gauge plugs in my lobes and a 2-gauge in my cartilage.

• I am a huge sports fan. I will watch anything, but particularly love golf and tennis. I finally learned to love baseball and will watch any basketball game, no matter who is playing. Every morning, during my news-reading ritual, I always finish with ESPN.

• When I don’t have a favorite team or player, I will pick a side to root for, just to make games more exciting. Before the NCAA playoffs last year, I decided to root for Davidson (because it was in my first area as a missionary) and Kansas (for no reason). It was a great year for me.

• I love that James E. Faust and Hugh B. Brown were active, committed, and life-long Democrats.

• If I actually told people how much I love living in Portland, I’m convinced they would think I was insane.

• I always say that we live in Portland, even though we live in Beaverton.

• My favorite band of all time is Death Cab for Cutie, but it was a total accident. I bought their first album when it came out because I thought the cover was cool. After 8 years, I realized that I owned every album, every EP, every side project, and even albums that the band members had produced (like The Decemberists and Tegan and Sera). Up until that realization, my favorite band was Operation Ivy.

• I was 25 when I realized that I am an enthusiastic person.

• Superman is, by far, my favorite super hero. While there’s a fine argument to be made for Batman, it really isn’t a competition.

• I miss the smell of Sharpies. They changed it when I was in high school.

• I am a soda snob. I won’t drink soda made with corn syrup and I will go out of my way to buy real ginger ale. The best root beer on earth is Virgil’s and the best ginger ale is Reed’s Extra Ginger Brew.

• I still have to fight the urge to shave a mohawk into my hair. I also want to shave my beard into giant chops. I’m not sure my how Sunday School class would react, though.

• I would rather Neela had a purple mohawk than become a cheerleader.

• I kiss Carol goodbye every morning before I leave, even if she’s asleep. I have never missed a day.

• My Mount Rushmore of Movies: Contact, The Royal Tanenbaums, Shawshank Redemtion, and A Few Good Men. I will never get tired of these films.

• I have a plan that would make me the most powerful man on earth and probably very rich. It would work, but I would have to be genuinely amoral. And I would have to move to Great Britain.

• I am ruthless at Monopoly. I don’t lose and the other players either become my minions or I destroy them. Carol won’t let me play because I become a different person.

• I have stood on top of the World Trade Center, visited the French Quarter before Katrina, and lived in 7 states, but I have never been out of the country.

• Actually, once I took a ferry from Seattle to Victoria, Canada. I was only there for 2 hours so I don’t count it.

• I like surrounding myself with people who intimidate me. My favorite people are all smarter, harder working, more talented, funnier, and friendlier than I am. I am convinced that these people will all suddenly realize what a loser I am and stop talking to me.

• My back teeth don’t touch. Before braces, I had an overbite. They “fixed” my teeth by moving my front teeth back, but now only my front teeth touch. I use my canines and incisors to chew my food and over the years they have gotten very dull.

• My favorite pen is the Stabilo point 88. If I can’t get my hands on one, I’ll use a pencil. My favorite pencil is a Dixon Ticonderoga #2.

• I was indifferent toward my middle name as a kid. Now I love it and use it constantly.

• My nickname for Elliott is Face. My nickname for Neela is Pretty. They answer to these names and I think that’s wonderful. Roland will develop a nick name eventually. Right now it’s floating between Big and Tozo. We’ll see what sticks.

• My fingers almost always misspell “beleive.”

• I have extremely high political efficacy. I have only missed 3 opportunities to vote (including Congressional mid-terms) since I was 18.

• I have been using the same calculator for a decade. It’s bright orange and branded with some pharmaceutical called “Amaryl Glimepiride.” It is also a ruler.

• Every once in a while, I will decide that I want to write some letter or number differently than I do. Five years ago, I changed the way I wrote my lower-case a’s. Two years ago, I changed my lower case g’s. Over the years I have updated my A’s, E’s, e’s, m’s, Z’s, z’s, 7’s, and 8’s and made minor updates to a bunch of others (6’s, 5’s, 2’s, S’s, n’s, and B’s included). I will fill entire pages, writing the same letter over and over and over again until my hand learns how to write it. I’m currently working on my 3’s.

• I created an unbreakable code. I don’t expect it to be solved before I die.

• My favorite pastime is having one of the kids take a nap in my arms.

• It drives me absolutely insane when people mispronounce “supposedly,” “nuclear,” and “jewelry.” These words are pronounced EXACTLY the way they are spelled.