Our baby girl turned 3 yesterday. When I start to get sad at how time is speeding up to a sprint, instead of a jog, I go into her as she is “Sleeping”…

Which actually means closing her eyes tight as she smiles and often peeks to watch me. Tonight, she lay on the floor in the toy room, allowing the boys enough time to fall asleep before crawling into her own bed. As I left her in the room, telling her the usual, “I love you, I will see you in the morning” I closed the door returning to the living room. Only a minute or two passes before I think “Its her birthday!! It wont be spoiling her to snuggle so late on her birthday!!” So I went back in, as she pretended to sleep. I lay on the floor next to her, almost nose to nose. She giggled with her eyes still closed and I melted.

Our baby girl is 3.

The time I have wasted, the things I have looked past, I internally make a promise to her. “I will not let you feel like a forgotten child.” Like so many middle children do. “I know this time of innocence is short, I promise to teach you, as well as I can, to be proud you are a girl and relish in it. I promise to be a good friend. A good mother. I promise to try my hardest.” I tell her plain and clear. “I am so proud of you Neela Bug. I am so proud of you.” again a giggle. Only this time her eyes are open looking into mine. “I love you so much, and I thank Heavenly Father every day for letting you come be part of our family. Thank you for wanting to be a part of me.” Then she says in a shy way “Momma, you wanna snuggle?” to which I reply “OF COURSE!!” and scoot in closer to her whispering “Happy Birthday Neela Marie”.

Our baby Girl is 3.

I lay there next to her, my Neela Bug. I realize I have made these promises to her before. 3 years ago. I think a lot about that day. She was so gentle to me even then. I did most the laboring outside the hospital. Once she decided to debut, I was walking only minutes later. She was quiet and warm. She filled an emptiness in my heart. She was good.

She is still gentle. And caring. And observant. And beautiful. Boy Howdy is she beautiful. If it wasnt for her “Mom, are you happy?” check-ins with me multiple times during the day, accompanied with a good long stare into my eyes, I would probably forget to smile as much. I love all three of our kids, but I am grateful I got to have at least one girl. A girl who is now having tea parties and dressing up as a princess, and doing well in her ballet class…. I cant wait to see what else is in store for this girl. This amazing girl.

And a few others: