Nov
4
It was my cousin Josh who taught me my first genuinely dirty joke. And my second.
I couldn’t have been older than 11. A bunch of us cousins were outside at night during some Cribbage Tournament. It was late, the babies had already gone to sleep, and the adults were still playing cards (and were otherwise distracted), so we had the freedom to say pretty much anything we wanted. We cracked ourselves up telling crude stories and terrible jokes. Josh was a true teenager by this time, so he was mischievous, rebellious, vulgar, and hilarious. When he unloaded with his best (and worst), we all laughed until we were in pain. He was our shepherd into the dark and wondrous world of adult humor and we worshiped him like a god.
Joshua Robert Smith is my oldest cousin. The eldest son of the eldest son on my dad’s side. He was the natural hero of every cousin who came after him (and there are a lot of us). His family (Uncle Bob, Aunt Reney, and his little brothers Garrett and Chris) moved to the northern California coast while we were living in Redding. It was a short (albeit very winding) three-hour drive to their house, so we spent more time with them than any of our other cousins. As Josh grew into an adult, he only became funnier, more exceptional, and more genuinely nice. I literally cannot picture him not smiling.
Josh eventually became the first of the cousins to actually play in the Cribbage Tournament. He celebrated this accomplishment by coming in absolute last place. Never one to step away from a challenge, he played the next year… and placed last again. The following year, he managed an unthinkable third-in-a-row Suckling Award.
But through it all, he had a smile. It would never have occurred to him to be upset or depressed about losing again and again and again. Instead, he laughed. He made himself the butt of his own jokes. During the award ceremony for his Suckling Award 3-peat, he called himself “the Michael Jordan of shitty cribbage players.”
And as if to add a punchline to his own joke, the next year he played, he came in first.
Earlier today, while shopping, Josh complained about feeling dizzy. Others around him asked if he needed any help and he told them, no, he’d be fine. A few minutes later, he was gone.
It is unfair that my uncle Bobby has to say goodbye to his son. Parents aren’t supposed to bury their children. There is a dark hole in the universe where Josh’s laughter should be. I take comfort, though, in knowing that Joshua was and remains a true success.
Josh, you laughed often and much;
You won the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
You earned the appreciation of honest critics and endured the betrayal of false friends;
You left the world a better place and I have breathed easier because you have lived.
I love you. I miss you. I look forward to seeing you again.
And I hope you’re making Peter laugh so hard he cries.
Christopher Smith
Thank you
Sara Jensen
I am so sorry for your loss! We lost a brother-in-law a couple months ago and what a true blessing it is to have the wonderful memories we do to keep those people alive in our hearts.
Rene' Smith
Ethan,
what a touching tribute to such a wonderful human being. I am so proud to have called myself his wife. The love I have for him is never ending.
The world definitely was a better place because of him.
I will miss him dearly…
Bill Graffius
My brother Ed was 40 when he passed after a short terrible fight with cancer. I guess Josh just turned 39. I think I have thought about Ed every day since. Well written Ethan, I can hardly type as the tears stream down my face.
garrett
Miss you bro. Thank you to Ethan for such a touching story.
Uncle Bob
Ethan, Thank you so much for your remembrance of Joshua. I think you captured the essence of my firstborn son. Thank you for your thoughts. Love Uncle Bob
Brooke
Ethan I am truly sorry for your families loss. The fragility of life is unbearable at times. Thank you for sharing. I hope your families hearts heal fast and bask in his seemingly wonderful memory.
John Miller
Ethan,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. This must of been difficult to write, but it is excellent and it brought tears to my eyes.
My thoughts and prayers will be with your whole family as you move forward in this now-a-bit-emptier world.
Don
Ethan, Well written. I too have a hard time picturing Joshua without a smile on his face, or outright laughing out loud. I am so glad that he and his brothers were able to spend so much time with you and your brother and sister while growing up. Joshua will be missed by many and there is a sadness today that is hard to explain.
Love one another and say it out loud.
Janet/Mom/Nana
Thank you. Love, Mom
Yvonne Smith
Ethan–You did a wonderful job capturing Josh’s self-deprecating sense of humor. I bet Peter is ROTCL (rolling on the clouds laughing).
Kristi McDonough
What a beautiful tribute to an obviously beautiful soul. I wish I had known Josh, and I regret that I never will. I am so glad that Rene shared this link with me so that I could see him through all of your eyes. God bless all of you and I am so very sorry for your loss.
Kristi M.
(a friend of Rene)
Carol Baker
Dear Ethan, I have come here to your site over and over to take comfort in the words you have written for Joshua. It is touching and funny and Joshua would have taken pride in knowing how impressed his cousins were with his verbal skills and experience. I can picture him holding court and sucking it all up! Joshua thrived on humor giving credit to his father Bob, uncles Tom, Dale, Don, aunts Yvonne Aunts and Janet with schooling him in the art of sarcasim. I miss him more than words can say but your tribute brings wonderful memories flooding through my thoughts everytime I read it. Thank you for your heartfelt words. May God watch over and keep you and yours safe,
Joshua’s other mother,
Carol